Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

That’s right! It’s Mary and Faith together, in person and on paper with a Her Soul message to you, dear sisters, as we celebrate tidings of great joy!!

This evening, we took a long breath and pause amidst the swirl of red and green to direct our hearts toward the manger and our friendship. Together, we prayed, ate, laughed a lot, and argued about who would pay for the milkshakes. And after we caught up on each others lives and hearts – we talked about YOU.

Don’t worry, it was all good. 😉 In fact, we talked about you in wonder. We talked about the analytics map and how readers visit our site every day, the “likes” and “shares” we receive through social media, and the delightful comments left by Tom and others. We even talked about our committed readers who subscribe to our posts by clicking the “Follow” button, located on the sidebar. (Yes, shameless plug, right here.) —>

And then, as the waitress approached our table for the fourth time to encourage us to at least look at our menu, we discussed the incredible coincidence Mary had of meeting some of our lurking readers at a recent Christmas party; women who share “Her Heart” and the various ways we live life for the same cause. It was at that moment when it really hit home: how absolutely lovely and real are the faces and hearts behind these likes, shares, and comments!!

Thank you for joining us on the journey and sharing your time with us. We believe that this life isn’t meant to be lived, loved, and fought for alone and we are so grateful for your willingness to join us for the ride. Each and every one of you returns to this space because YOU share Her Heart and seek His story in your busy, hectic lives.

[And in case you’re wondering, this evening’s quiet time together was made possible by Paul, who also values our friendship and the chance for mommy to have some quiet time. Because YES – friendships can flourish beyond the “I do” when one friend is married and the other is single. We know that this can be a struggle or fear for some of you and plan to publish a series on the topic in January. If you have questions from the single or married perspective of the “friends after marriage” topic, please send them to us and we’ll be sure to include an answer in an upcoming post.

This evening we paused long and hard together with Our Lord at the parish adoration chapel, praying for each others intentions and looking ahead at a new year. Perhaps you are doing the same – wondering if the new year will bring joy or sorrow, gain or loss, easy rides or hard knocks? Whatever your prayer may be, know that you are not praying alone. And whatever the new year brings, it will be exactly that which will make you a better, stronger, healthier YOU!

What is your word for 2018? A word for the new year is like a seed planted for the next chapter of life; a word that comes from the year past and promises to unfold in it’s own way as the new one commences. We would like to challenge each of you to ponder and decide on one word you will take with you from 2017 into the new year. Here we go!

Mary’s Word for 2018: Enough

Faith’s Word for 2018: Trust

As what I can only consider a sister of the word and theme which Mary has chosen (“enough”), “trust” is a word which I believe God has been whispering lovingly to my heart even long before my entrance into this crazy-beautiful vocation of marriage and motherhood.  I was born out of my parents’ trust in God, that He would fulfill their desire for a child in HIS timing, according to HIS plan; thus they named me “faith”, a synonym, I believe, if not the very definition of trusting in God…in His Providence, in His close proximity to our hearts and our crosses even when we cannot feel His prescence, in His goodness and His mercy.

I believe that my hope and challenge for the coming year can be summed up in the call to TRUST God, foremostly to trust that He is who He says He is and to trust who He has revealed me to be in relation to Him.

He is my father; I am his daughter.

If I believe that simple truth deep in my bones- if I believe it to my core, everything in my life changes. It all starts to make sense.

Where trust abounds, fear ceases to control and bind.

So here’s to a year of freedom from worry, a year resonating with the peace that comes not from this world, but from trusting Jesus deeply and wholly.

Here’s to a year of TRUST, and (no pun intended 😉 , faith in action.

Let’s face it; we’ve all had George Bailey moments. In the depths of despair, at the end of our rope, and at the edge of a precipice, we’ve stood there and at least wondered, “why am I here?” Perhaps some of have even gone so far as to whisper that which George wished for just before jumping into the river to save a drowning man, “I wish I had never been born.”

How is it that a person can make such a wish of destruction seconds before risking every danger to save the life of a complete stranger? Here lies the secret reality of anguish: that from it, one can find life.

It sounds pretty weird, or at least ironic, doesn’t it? But it’s true! And I believe that’s the secret to shining light on our own dark moments.

We can be George Bailey and his angel Clarence at the same time!

We do not have to actively search for a chance to help someone in a moment of need; the need often presents itself without any effort on our part . And the need arises not just on our good days, but on our bad days, too.

The good deed is a choice – a step outside of ourselves, of our comfort zone, and even our own grief. Sometimes, it’s a leap into ice cold water, like George, to swim with someone else’s pain.

It’s the man on the Metro train on his way home from work, earbuds in his ears, who notices an elderly woman braving the crowd with a small, rolling suitcase and gently helps steer her and her belongings into a safe corner. It’s the woman in the checkout line who offers to assist the man in the motorized cart to lift his items onto the conveyer belt. It’s the boy who shovels snow on his sidewalk and the driveway of the single mother who lives next door.

We see these actions and we think these kind people have their lives together. But George proves that is not always the case.

You see, oftentimes those who reach out to a suffering soul are often suffering great trials themselves. They choose to look outside their own destruction to offer hope to another.

Wouldn’t we be surprised to know that the man on his way home from work with the earbuds had just been fired from his job? Or that the woman at the grocery store was minutes away from paying for her own groceries with food stamps? Our hearts would melt to learn that the boy who shoveled his neighbor’s sidewalks had lost his own mother in a tragic car accident a year ago.

That is what I mean when I say we can be George Bailey and Clarence at the same time! When choosing to swim with someone else in their pain, we unknowingly made our own sorrow a little lighter. We fight as a team in someone else’s battle, remembering that we too, are not alone. We tell the stranger, “hey, you’re WORTH it”. And like an echo from Heaven, we hear that same phrase come back to us – as an angel gets his wings. This is the secret to George Bailey’s anguish.

And something tells me, if we lingered long enough in the lives of the three people mentioned above, we would find other kind souls taking action in their lives. We would see a loving brother-in-law helping the jobless man rewrite his resume. We would see a stranger cover the remaining $4.37 of the woman’s grocery bill when her food stamps didn’t quite cover the bill. And if we followed the boy after he finished shoveling the driveway, we would watch a kind stranger pay for his cup of hot chocolate at a nearby café.

So the next time you feel like George Bailey, remember that even he – the man who wondered why he had been born – could offer the gift of his life to make someone else’s day a little brighter. Do not be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and be a light for someone else, even if you can barely see your own. Because together with another light, even the tiniest flame becomes bigger, stronger, and brighter.

It was Hobby Lobby. At rush hour. A week before Christmas.

I stood on one side of a center island, staring at bolts of upholstery fabric marked at 50% off. Did I go to Hobby Lobby for upholstery fabric? Of course not! But there I was, suddenly remembering that I intended to re-upholster a piece of furniture in my spare bedroom – and it literally couldn’t wait.

The colors and patterns of the bolts were swimming before me. The sale was too good to walk away from (or so I told myself). The truth was, I was stalling on the real stress in my life – that Christmas list in my hand, filled with the names of store and loved ones unaccounted for under the tree.

And then I heard it… a long, drawn-out sigh. I could just make out her features and noticed a middle-aged woman almost staring back at me as she looked at the endless yards of fabric hanging on her side of the display.

It was an instant connection. Without holding back or even asking what she was looking for, I suddenly began to let loose a flood of emotions through the display. “This is crazy. I spend 8 hours every day, getting paid to be creative. And the minute I walk out of work, I come to Hobby Lobby and think I’ll have extra creative brain space to spend on my home – with a mile long Christmas to-do list? I can’t do this.” 

The woman chuckled and agreed, “Yes, It’s all so overwhelming. It’s Christmas…” She rounded the bend to approach my side of the display. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to continue the conversation or look to see if I had better fabric than she did. It didn’t matter. The folly of my frustration in that moment was revealed.

This was not what the “joy-filled expectation” was all about, and we both knew it. We wished each other “good luck” and walked away. I made my way right out the front door, crumpling up the Christmas list. If it had been a Hallmark movie, the tune to Amy Grant’s song would have been playing over the loudspeaker as I left.

The drive home was made in silence. I had fallen for the biggest trap of the consumer year: the Christmas rush, fooling myself that I was somehow falling short of Christmas if I didn’t get it all done.

A few days later, I spoke with my mom who was on day 5 of the flu, still recovering in bed from days of exhaustion and fever. Three batches of homemade cookie dough were sitting, unattended in her fridge. Presents were purchased, but none where near wrapped. Christmas dinner couldn’t be planned without creating another wave of nausea. She mourned the loss of Christmas as she knew it, falling short of the greatest day of the year.

Friends, family, co-workers – you name it! Everyone I meet is being dragged down into the idea that they are falling short of Christmas thanks to their already full lives and the never-ending to-do list.

I’m sure you have your own “falling short of Christmas” story to add. Perhaps you’re mourning the loss of a loved one? Trying to make ends meet financially? Preoccupied with your education, job, pregnancy… wherever and whatever life is dishing you at this time?

Whatever you do, dear sisters – do NOT fool yourself! You are not falling short of Christmas. Dig back into the heart of Advent and learn about the stillness of that quiet night in Bethlehem and the peaceful surrender of Mary’s heart while on top of a donkey. These are the details we should be focused on – not the amount of tinsel on our tree or the delay at Amazon Prime this week.

If you are feeling overwhelmed in these final days before the birth of Our Lord and silence seems impossible, here are four things we can do to rescue ourselves from the pre-Christmas rush:

• Say No: That’s right! Don’t be afraid to say no to yourself or someone else. It is not our job to please others or live up to the expectations we create for ourselves. And we often need someone to give us “permission” to say no. Well, look no further! Consider this your permission to say no.
• Say Yes with Mary to God’s plan for you at this point in your life. Embrace the cross, the suffering, the sickness, and the loneliness. Don’t let them get in the way with your journey toward the crib. As soon as we give in to them, we cripple ourselves and make the journey longer and harder. Look at your present sufferings as the bumps of Mary’s journey on top of that donkey while 9 months pregnant. That journey was not the end – it was the means to the relief.
• Take time to listen – even if it’s five minutes locked in your room while the kids play unsupervised (they will survive). Spend your work break in prayer or meditation instead of scrolling through your phone. Any minute you spend directing your thoughts toward the Star in the East will be far more valuable than any Christmas present you could buy for yourself. Advent can actually be our escape from a consumer holiday.
• Let go of the expectations – the due dates for the cards, the list of cookies to be made, and the perfect gift for your mother-in-law. Remember that Christmas is a season and can be enjoyed throughout the following weeks.

Let’s fall short of the consumer Christmas this year and embrace our own story in the here and the now.

The first day of Advent this year found me in a desert. It was the retreat of all retreats in Southern California desert on a backpacking excursion with dozens of like-minded Catholics. It was absolutely exhilarating! We camped in a canyon, prayed the Divine Office together throughout the day, assisted at Mass, began and ended each day with a Holy Hour in the moonlight – and walked.

To say that the majority of the trip was spend walking is an understatement. Each day, we walked through the desert hills, mountains, canyons, and open plains for hours on end. 

I had a lot of time to this and pray during this trip. There is a reason why this life is called a pilgrimage. While the advent season and Faith’s encouraging words to follow Mary’s wait help me to embrace the unknown, this walk reminded me how important action is to a fruitful wait.

I spent three entire days walking toward the beautiful –  the sunsets, the sunrises, the palm trees – never dreaming there would be a treasury of grace prepared for me along the way!

There wasn’t an actual destination in sight, physically or spiritually. We lived in the now; walking while waiting to learn more about the next step through the journey itself.

And just like the physical journey, Our Lord worked with each step in my soul – by strengthening my heart, revealing His love, and prompting me toward grace. 

Our group stopped occasionally to hydrate ourselves with the water we carried on our backs and to admire the view we were creating with our climb. Silence and prayer, also, were incorporated into the journey. (And who says you can’t eat an Oreo in the desert!?)

Imagine my surprise when one step up a steep canyon proved to be the last – and I suddenly found myself standing in an actual oasis. (Did you know an oasis was a real thing? Not a mirage or a hypothetical term for an unrealistic paradise.) Dozens of palm trees rose up from the damp ground, forming shade, cultivating life, and providing resting place for the weary. The wait was well worth the walk. And in the strangest of all ironies: the walk was well worth the wait!

There, at the top of a canyon and in the very center of an incredible oasis, the priest leading our group said Holy Mass. In the miracle of all miracles, the Creator of these wonders came in the form of a little white host.

Like Mary, who journeyed to Bethlehem in her maternal wait, who pondered in her heart, and who mourned with the Apostles and in the upper room – we are all called to not just wait, but to take action in that wait.

When we walk in the wait (very often, a desert), we accept the unknown and lift our eyes and hearts to the beautiful. We put one foot in front of the other, opening ourselves up for an adventure only God could plan for our lives. We never know when the next step may be the last one before the prize! We trust that there will be an end to the journeying, the pondering, the mourning and at that end, there will be new life – the Eucharist in a desert oasis.

Dear sisters – are you walking in your wait?

Do you leave the future into God’s hands, surrendering each step to Him along the way? Do you match His stride? Do you look up from your wait and walk toward the sunrise? Do you trust that there is an oasis at the end of your journey?

Because the view at the top is worth every step we take.

Dear Camper,

I thought of you today.

I was driving home, a familiar path I’ve traveled hundreds of times, but today, something made me think of YOU. Maybe it was the reflection of my one year old son chirping happily in his car seat in my rearview mirror. Perhaps it was the nostalgia that tends to fill us all around this time of year.

Either way, I thought of you, and as I did, my heart whispered a prayer for your wellness, your happiness, your safety.

It’s been years now, since the weeks we spent together in that glorious, magical place known as The Pines. But even after all this time, I can picture your face so clearly. Of course, I’m sure you look different now. Older. But to me you are frozen in time- one of the best times of my life.

You may not realize this, but YOU were my first experience of motherhood- my first taste of the selflessness and sacrifice that is asked of a parent on a daily basis, my first understanding of how beautiful it can be to die to oneself for the sake of another, my first experience of pouring continuously into the life of another and somehow never coming up empty.

I like to think that part of the reason God crossed our paths is because He knew that someday He’d bless me with a little baby boy who would open my heart to feel and experience and live deeply, in the same way that you did. I like to think (and I really believe) that I’m a better mother today because I knew you and loved you.

I learned so, so many things from you, you know.

From you I learned that JOY, true, deep, untouched joy is as simple as jumping in the pool on a hot summer day, singing a song in the light of a campfire, encountering Jesus for the first time in Adoration.

From you I learned that despite all the sentiments we attach to it, childhood, and especially adolescence can be HARD. My heart still aches when I think of the crosses you were carrying when I met you. But my soul leaps when I recall your bravery and kindness in the face of your suffering. I hope you are still just as brave and kind.

From you I learned unconditional love…what it looks like, what it feels like, what it IS. I learned it because I loved you unconditionally. That’s what I was asked to do, expected to do and equipped to do in the weeks I spent training for our time together. But I also learned from watching YOU love. Your friends around you. The counselors who became your family. And the God-man you met and encountered personally, maybe for the first time ever while on those campgrounds. Your love was a vivacious, full, child-like love that made me wiser, more hopeful, and better.

Yes, I’m a better one for the knowing of you, my dear camper.

I hope that wherever you are now, regardless of whether you remember me, you remember and know still the Jesus you met at summer camp. I pray He is still the most important part of your day, and that you know with certainty and believe with faith that you are the most important part of His. I hope that you have continued to experience joy, and forgiveness and LOVE the way you experienced it at The Pines. I hope that your blessings are abundant, your hurts are few and your sights are set on your heavenly homeland…and I hope that someday, I’ll see you there again and we will celebrate together, home at long last.

GO TREES ->>>

Love,

Cubby