My little sister and I sat on the front step of our house in southern New Jersey like hot-pink marshmallowy children, dressed in puffy snowsuits and fluffy boots. It was cold! Our 4 and 2 year old personalities were shining in full force as Mom pointed the camcorder in our direction. I looked like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. My sister sat next to me, exploring the snow stuck to her mittens.

The scene was set for what was – and still us – one of my favorite sister memories. (Shoutout to all moms who know how to whip out the camera at just the right minute! You prove that our memories are in fact, realities.)

“What’s wrong, Mary?” Mom asked as the camera revealed me seated with my head hanging low, over-exaggerating a melancholy mood. 

“I didn’t get to help Dad shovel the driveway. Katie got to help, but I didn’t get a chance to do it,” I responded with a heavy sigh. Mine was a pathetic attempt at true sorrow. As an adult, I watch the video today and wonder how my mother witheld a giggle and an, “Oh please…”

There wasn’t much time for my mom to respond as my sister decided to take the melancholy matter into her own hands – literally. With camera still rolling, baby Kate took her snow-covered mitten and flung it in my face, waving it about as if to make it snow again right before my eyes.

It was a 2-year-old’s way of trying to lift up my heart – no words necessary.

That simple act remains, to this day, the very heart of our relationship as sisters. Even in her littleness, she knew my heart was heavy about something that could be fixed with simply a change of attitude. And she took it upon herself to be the one to try and lift me up and out of the sadness. Although I didn’t jump up and leave my sorrows after her attempt to lift my spirit (melancholics need time, folks!) it made a difference. And always will.

My sister is my other self. We shared everything as children – our experiences (both good and bad), our friends, amusements, sports, you name it! The only things we had to ourselves were our ages and our closets (because I insisted). And as adults, we continue to share in each other’s lives in deeper, more powerful ways than I could ever imagine.

Our relationship has saved me on more than one occasion, from the time she physically stood up for me against bully neighbor boys, to the time she showed up with her husband at midnight to help jump my car in a snowstorm. Sisterhood is something as fierce as it is filled with love.

I share this story today on the feast of St. Therese of Lisieux for a reason. You see, I believe that the sisterhood I describe above is for every woman – whether you have a biological sister you can count on or not. St. Therese shows us how to embrace this relationship like none other. It is impossible to learn about the life of St. Therese without also learning about the sisterhood to which she belonged. As the youngest of 6 Martin girls, little Therese’s childhood survived on sisterhood. In her autobiography, St. Therese talks about her sisters in almost every human way possible, adoring some and even somewhat quarreling with others.

Therese and her sisters shared everything together as true sisters do, including the death of their mother. Therese turned to her sister in the shadow of this loss, it was her sister Pauline she chose to be her second mother. The Martin sisters even shared the call to the very same vocation, each of them becoming a religious sister.

The Little Flower made it her mission to take a shortcut or “elevator” to Heaven so she could shower us with God’s blessings. Is it not a surprise, then, that she would leave us with this promise, “I am your sister and your friend. Never will I cease watching over you.” 

If that’s not a “big sister” thing to say and do, I don’t know what is!

St. Therese might be the littlest sister in her earthly family, but she is for each of us, the best big sister we could ever have in our hearts. She sets the example and tone for our lives, going ahead of us to lift us out of a world of suffering (melancholic Marys included). She knew sisterhood well and I think, invites us to enter into it with each other. If she could reach me and my reluctancy, she can reach you, too.

When I became a Catholic in 1996, St. Therese was all the rage. Her story was the first saint story I read and as a result, I quickly decided she was going to be my Confirmation saint. Until I read the story of St. Rose of Lima… At that point, I decided St. Therese was too popular, anyway. Every girl in my class was choosing her. And they were all receiving roses as answers to their novenas! I decided to leave the fan-girling for everyone else and let St. Therese off the hook.

In spite of my reluctance, St. Therese found me after all. In fact, I think she was there all along like the sister she is, waiting for me to get over myself and wanting only to love me and show me something greater than my heart’s desires.

She wants this for you, too. And I believe she calls us to be there for each other in the same way.

Sisterhood has shown me the ways in which we are called to support one another as women – ways that our jobs, vocations, and even our call to spiritual motherhood cannot satisfy. A sisterhood is a place of vulnerability, where we are called to leave comparison at the doorstep and be present to each other in our best and worst moments. This kind of friendship supports, protects, and strengthens us in our vocations, calling us to holiness and assuring us that we are not alone.

A true sister, like St. Therese, walks with us in our times of sorrow, rejoices with us in our good fortune, affirms our identity in times of doubt, stands with us in adversity, and most importantly, calls us to holiness. Being better sisters makes us better mothers, daughters, and wives. A true sister sister simply shares everything. 

Except clothes. That’s where I draw the line. 🙂

If you do not have a sister to call today, go to St. Therese. Start with the best of big sisters and she will, no doubt, introduce you to others. She made it her business to shower you with roses, after all! If you have a sister (or more!) you share your experiences with, hug her a little tighter today and join me in resolving to treasure the person she is to you and the world around her.

Happy feast of St. Therese! 🌹

With love, Mary