There’s no doubt about it: children are demanding. 

A new mother would agree as she tirelessly spends all hours of the day learning and responding to her baby’s signs of hunger, fatigue, and discomfort – from the slightest whimper to the sudden wail.

A seasoned mother would also agree, looking back at a lifetime of hearing, “Mom!” shouted, whispered, cried, and exclaimed from big and little lungs throughout her every day.

Children are demanding. 

And yet – would you believe it? I think her child’s demands are secretly a mother’s greatest pleasure. As much as the demands themselves may take their toll on her energy and strength, it is their business that occupies her thoughts, prayers, and desires.

It’s her child’s cry that wakes a mother’s soul.

It’s her child’s need that reaches into the deepest recesses of her heart.

It’s her child’s desires that occupy her mind.

And it’s her child’s happiness and comfort that motivates her actions.

I know many new mothers who say they’ve never been happier, despite the lack of sleep. And I know many seasoned mothers who delight over a call or text message from an adult son or daughter, missing the days when her name was said more often.

While I don’t have biological children of my own, I can tell you quite decisively that it’s the demanding child who has captured my heart.

Let me introduce you to a demanding little boy who might catch your attention, too. I saw this little two or three year old boy a few weeks ago attending Mass with his parents and older siblings. He was glued to his mother for the entire Mass. If he wasn’t in her arms, he was by her side, his own little arms around her waist and his head leaning against her body as if leaning against a pillar inside the church itself. He was quite precious!

It was clear from the start that while he was trying to be still and quiet, he also had a lot of energy. So it wasn’t a complete surprise when he fell off the kneeler during the prayers for the faithful.

A loud wail echoed throughout the church, followed by a series of sniffles. The boy reached for his mother’s arms. She scooped him up and held him close. He cried and whimpered (most certainly over-reacting!) while she rubbed his back.

Suddenly, he pulled away and looked at his mother’s face with a pitiful expression. She gently kissed his cheek. He received her kiss, but did it seem completely comforted. It was clear that he wanted something more. I wondered if he wanted another kiss? I was right, he did! But he went a step further. He didn’t just want another kiss, he wanted one in a very specific place…

He wanted a kiss on his nose! He pointed to it and his mother instantly obliged. His little demand won his mother’s heart and mine. He knew how he needed his mother and he wasn’t bashful about asking – no, demanding! – her ability to provide comfort in a very specific way.

And his mother? This little boy’s good mother kissed his nose without hesitation.

Can you imagine the Child Jesus seeking love from His Mother in this way? I certainly can! I imagine Him holding on to her and being aware of her every move and action. I can even imagine Him demanding a kiss in the place where He hurt most. Who wouldn’t want to be near and cling to the Mother of all Mothers? And can you imagine how eager she was to receive Him and attend to His every need? She was, in fact, glued to His side, even at the foot of the cross.

Well now, here’s where the demanding child takes on new form in my own heart: I do believe that we are called to be the demanding child with Mary as our Mother. Of course she can fix our troubles, comfort our sorrows, and attend to our needs. But I also believe she wants to do all of that and more! She’s eager to receive us into her arms and kiss the exact places where it hurts most. She wants us to point to our nose, our eyes, our heart – and demand her motherly affection.

No doubt, Our Lord Himself did the same – and calls us to follow suit. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a rather “demanding” child who sat at the foot of Our Lord when He said, “unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.“ MT 18:3

So this Advent, as we prepare for the birth of the the Baby in the manger, let’s learn how to see His Mother with His eyes. Let’s look up from the manger with Him and demand her loving attention and care, pointing to the very places where we need her most.

I do believe she will gladly and most readily oblige!

Yours, Mary