Over the course of this Lenten Season, Jesus has been teaching me, little by little, that it is actually possible to be fearless. Not just to be courageous, acting in spite of fear (though this is a great virtue, certainly) but to actually be WITHOUT fear.

I’m sure that must sound crazy. It does a little bit to me still, too when I’m being honest. But since when has the workings of the Holy Spirit in our hearts ever really fit into that neat little box where the constraints of our human understanding reside?

You see, what He has been revealing to me (and continues to), in little and big ways, throughout this desert walk, is the possibility that when one is so intently focused on Him and filled entirely with trust, there is, actually, no room for fear in the mind or heart. When Jesus takes up the full lens, the vision changes entirely. When the trust is boundless, so is the propensity to endure.

I was thinking tonight on my way to ‘keep watch for an hour with my Lord’ in adoration about the role that fear plays in the story of Christ’s passion. In many ways, it is the catalyst to the entire event. The fear of the Pharisees plotting the take down of the man whose mission they so tragically misunderstand. The fear of the apostles coursing as adrenaline through their veins, causing them to flee the side of the truest friend they’ve ever had in His moment of deepest need. The fear which leaps from Peter’s lips in the lie “I do not know this man.” The fear which pits Pilot against his gut as he renders the allowance of Jesus’ crucifixion. The downright terror of Judas after he realizes what he’s done and who He’s turned against.

As we see in these instances in Christ’s passion, and perhaps as we know from our own lives, fear dictates. It monopolizes. And it is neither a kind master nor merciful master. Fear barricades opportunities. It tramples prudence. It snuffs out love.

These realizations dawned on me anew recently as I began experiencing anxiety surrounding none other than my parenting abilities. (because toddlerhood isn’t hard enough, right?) I found myself in a place of constant worry- wondering if I was doing things ‘right’ and ‘enough’ and on and on. At the climax of my wrestle with this fear, my husband gently pushed me out the door to a women’s evening of adoration and reflection, during which a very wise priest shared the general origin of many of the fears we experience as human beings. To paraphrase his beautiful message- ‘we are people built to converse…and we will inevitably do so. And when we don’t converse with the trusted ‘others’ in our Church community and when we don’t converse with Christ, we will talk to ourselves. And it is this inner monologue that produces so much of the worry and anxiety we find ourselves facing about our circumstances.’

The light bulb when on right then and there as I was hit head-on by the truth. There I was, making myself believe that the pressure of parenthood and all the responsibilities it entails were laying squarely on my shoulders. I was relying (or trying to rely) fully on myself to get the job of raising an amazing human done. I was turning inward. And the pressure was paralyzing. The panic had never been more real. Because sisters, the truth, is that isolation breeds doubt. The truth is that whatever we have been given to carry or to do has been given to us in Christ, and it is ONLY in Him and THROUGH Him that we can step forward.

I can’t tell you the relief that flooded the depths of my being that evening as I relinquished the outcomes to Jesus or the peace that came as He whispered to my tired little heart “Just do your best and I’ll do the rest.”

Though since that moment, there have been many more where I have allowed fear to shackle me still, I am so deeply encouraged by those in Christ’s Passion story who lived this trust so fully- Our Mother, Mary, St. John and St. Mary Magdelene stand out to me in particular. It didn’t matter that they were surrounded by an angry mob, that they stood in contrast to the crowd around them, they merely kept their eyes on Christ, and, as such, found no reason to fear intimate proximity to Him, even as He endured horrific suffering. They are proof to me, if nothing else, that while following Christ will not spare heartache, it can be done fearlessly…that it is possible to so deeply desire to just be with Jesus that literally nothing will matter as much as doing so.

In reflecting on all of this—I have thought, too of two stories in contrast to each other—that of Peter when he walks on the water and that of the hemorrhaging woman who stretched out her arm to touch the cloak of Christ in order to be healed. One was told the impossible could be done for Him, the other TRUSTED it would be. If I close my eyes, I can see their walkings as if side by side—Peter atop a stormy sea, the bleeding woman pushing through throngs of people—Peter takes his gaze from Christ’s and turns inward, realizing he alone is not capable of doing what he’s actually doing, he sinks; the woman so determined for Jesus to heal her, so trusting of the fact that He can do what she cannot that ALL she sees is His garment as she reaches forth to touch Him.

The choice is ours, a freely given choice.

And so, as you walk alongside Christ this Good Friday, I encourage you to see Him and ONLY Him. Let the Holy Spirit fill you with the trust that will set you free. Set aside your current crosses and take up His instead.

Matthew 11:30 “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

 

Love+Blessings,

Faith

It’s no secret that I’m a crier when it comes to good storytelling. While growing up, my brother used to deliver three or four tissues to my seat before each family movie night began, just to make sure there would be no tissue running interruptions. While I have no control over the tear ducts when I’m crying for others (happy tears or sad tears) it’s a different story where my own life’s emotions are concerned. I like to keep my cool in public.

I’ll never forget the last time I cried in public, however. It was a warm spring evening as I walked into the small Adoration Chapel near my home. I nodded and smiled as I passed a woman praying in the last pew, finding my own way toward the front of the room.

And then it happened – the waterworks. As I began to pray, a few stray tears turned into in violent sobs, uncontrolled and completely unannounced. At first, I thought I could hide them with a few quick sniffs and a determination to refocus my heart. But doing so was beyond my control and I reached a point where I thought, “the poor lady behind me is probably so annoyed right now.” I jumped up from my seat to grab the entire box of tissues nearby.

The past few months had been the hardest in my entire life. I was tired: tired of grief, tired of emotions, and tired of sadness. I felt like a ship on stormy seas that groaned under the blast of another storm, wondering how many more I could take before the ship collapsed?

But this storm didn’t break the ship; it simply broke the sea.

And slowly, as time progressed, the surges of tears began to lessen in length and intensity. I kept my eyes on the tiny white host, trying to give Him every tear, as I had given Him my heart.

A hand suddenly touched me on the shoulder. I turned around to find the other lady in the chapel and prepared for an apology. Before I could utter a word, she slipped a small piece of paper into my hand and said, “God bless you.” And just like that – she was gone.

I read the note in which the woman said that said her Holy Hour was offered for my intentions. She said she didn’t know what I was going through, but directed me to the Mother of Sorrows and Divine Mercy. She pointed me to the Mother of Sorrows – the woman who’s very heart was pierced with sword and the premonition of which cast a shadow on every day of her glorious Motherhood. She showed me what it looks like to keep her station at the foot of the Cross, just like Mary. She showed me that there is purpose and healing in the simple station of standing.

That is something none of us like to do, is it? We don’t like to stand and be still; we want to keep moving! When met with grief, oftentimes our first instinct is to run away or try to do what we can to “get through it” and past it. We think there is weakness in being broken.

In most cases, it is the state of being broken that can take shape into something even more beautiful than before. Like metal being forged, Our Lord works in our soul in time of grief. To be mended, we must be still. In that moment – however long or short it may be – we are being called to keep our station at the foot of the cross.

A note from a stranger that day spoke of wisdom and experience in the world of grief and healing. I felt instantly consoled and relieved at the presence of this kind soul who took the time to offer me consolation in a place where she too had been. She was strong and joyful and whole. She gave me hope that I too, could someday be strong and joyful and whole.

---

One year later, I kelt in the very same chapel when a familiar sound caught my attention. It was the unmistakable sound of the waterworks in full swing from the woman sitting behind me. I could hear the ebb and flow of the tears, coming and going in waves of emotion. My heart was pounding for her. I searched my purse for a pen… for I knew what I had to do.

I found the Holy Hour card and wrote: “Dear Sister in Christ, This hour is for you. I feel the power of your tears and am praying for you. Be it grief, desolation, frustration, or pain – I know what you are feeling all too well. You gaze upon Jesus and He gazes right back at you with more love and mercy than we can ever imagine. He is your courage. He cries with you and he lifts you up. Don’t ever forget that you are enough for Him and He is enough for you. God bless you! – Mary”

The woman looked puzzled as I handed her the note when she was leaving the chapel. She returned a few minutes later and walked up to me in the pew, fresh tears streaming down her face. But from the tears came a giant smile, “That was exactly what I needed to hear,” she said. We exchanged a hug and I smiled back, “Your going to be okay. You’re not alone.” We promised to pray for each other. And just like that, she was gone.

Sisters – if you are enduring a cross right now, this message is also for you! Take courage in standing by your cross. There is great healing to be found by standing there. And what’s even better is that you are not alone! You are joined by Mary – and others who know the healing that comes from being still with grief. You won’t be there forever, either. You will soon be strong and joyful and whole again.

Yours, Mary

“At the cross her station keeping, stood the mournful Mother weeping. Close to Jesus to the last.” – Stabat Mater

Today I must share with you the story of a little lie that grew and grew until it became a giant force in the life of my blog posts here on HerSoulProclaims. That lie looks something like perfectionism…

I cannot even being to tell you how many blog posts have been started – how many inspirations, stories, and discoveries I’ve wanted to share with you dear sisters, over this entire season of Lent.

Those stories are currently sitting in a document on my desktop. They may be unfinished and rough in their composition, but the sentiment is not. In fact, these stories combined made this Lent one of the best ever! With St. Joseph’s gift of surrender, a actual walk in the desert to relate to, and a foretaste of fearlessness to ponder – this Lent has been FULL and beautiful.

While time is often lacking in sharing these stories, the fact that I have given in to the the little lie of perfectionism is the biggest influence to my silence on this blog. The lie tells me that I have to formulate my ideas and thoughts perfectly before I can actually post about them; that I have to not just be inspired by something, but understand and emulate it before daring to share about it.

But that’s not what we’re all about here, is it? The whole purpose of this space in the blogosphere is to share in the journey of living out Her Soul, right? Our goal is to proclaim His presence, even when we’ve yet to understand it’s full meaning to our lives and salvation.

I don’t know about you, but blogging isn’t the only area of my life that perfectionism tries to control… So today, in an effort to live in the present moment of imperfection, I am exposing the lie and sharing with you a few things that shine out beyond the lie, in all their imperfections:

• LENTEN JOY: Yes, you read that right. The theme of Joy in this season of Lent has been rather radical in it’s arrival, but beautifully consistent. If what St. Pope John Paul II said is true, that “We are an Easter people and Alleluia is our song” than our walk in the Passion of Christ is different than that of the Apostles. Because we walk with Christ and His cross while having foretaste of the Resurrection. We get to see the suffering, accept our own crosses, and know without a doubt that it they are the “pain before the gain.” This is a privilege that only Mary shared in during the passion of Her Son. We have been given a great gift to see the joy with the cross. And I don’t know about you, but I think Our Lord, in giving us this vantage place, invites us to live like it… with joy, even in the midst of suffering.
• AN HOUR OF ADORATION EVERY DAY – has been my lifeline these past six weeks. It seemed almost impossible to do at first.. where am I going to come up with all this extra time? I can’t even find time to blog these days! But the time was there (I found it, usually wasted) and it became the best part of my day. Spending an hour of Adoration with Jesus is having the chance to share a heart-to-heart with the One who Loves me the Most. There, I can share my worries, fears, thankfulness, frustration, etc. There, I get to gaze at Him and guess what? He gazes right back at me!! Very few of these hours actually result in the “ah ha!” moments of the spiritual life. But the grounding time of being in His presence is the best part of my day.
• CAMINO PREP: While adventures await in all their excitement and glory – life happens. For me, this looks like an injured knee, passport dilemmas, and the inability to train as much as I would like to at the moment. But the Camino waits… and my companions have been more than supportive in their encouragement. One declared our journey to be a “no woman left behind” adventure. We’re in this together – all for one and one for all! In a recent Camino prep discussion, someone suggested that we all share our greatest “Camino fear” in order to get it out there and expose it for what it is. Although I had a bushel of fears to share, I exposed my #1: That I will get injured and have to taxi my way on The Way. And then it hit me: so what? I know better than to fear my greatest fear at this point in life! So WHAT if my greatest fear becomes a reality! The same God and grace that have seen me through the greatest fears of my life will also see me through the greatest fears of the Camino. This is what it means to be a Christian – to be fearless, even when the worst case scenario confronts us head-on. So while I’m still not counting on it, if I do injure myself on the Camino… if I do get bedbugs in an albergue, if I do lose my passport and all my money to a sneaky thief – SO WHAT!

This is life in the “now” – with all of it’s imperfections. For those readers who stuck with me as I discovered the lie and return to this space – thank you. Prayers for a blessed Holy Week and Triduum ahead!

“You are dust and to dust you shall return.”

“Repent and believe in the gospel”

Every year on a Wednesday, I hear one of these urgings spoken to me as a thumb print of black ash is swept across my forehead.

The words, the ashes, the altar stripped of decoration and cloaked in purple, the solemn readings- all of it is meant as an invitation to ponder my mortality in the light of God’s Divinity, to consider my life and the things in it and remember which are finite and which are infinite and to adjust my heart accordingly.

I think that for those of us, like me, who had only ever experienced death at a distance, the ask to remember our mortality and be moved by it can fall on somewhat deaf ears- hardened hearts, even.

Which is why I know it was God’s blessing upon me that I happened to be in Hawaii, on the U.S.S Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor, no less, when the (accidental) ballistic missile threat occurred earlier this year. If I close my eyes, I can still smell the oil and see its glossy sheen floating atop the waters of the Pacific, only feet above one of the four U.S. ships sunk during the bombing at Pearl Harbor. I can still feel the adrenaline rush in my gut as I read the words eerily pulsing across my cell phone screen while I stand atop a sunken grave: “Alert: Ballistic Missile Bound from North Korea to Hawaii. Seek Shelter Immediately. This is not a drill.”
There was no immediate panic, thankfully. All around my husband and I, people began looking at the same alert as it flashed across their screens, whispering among themselves. It wasn’t until a second alert of the same urgency came, followed by the blaring of sirens as we were rushed from the Memorial back to the main ground of Pearl Harbor that I actually considered death and felt its potential immanency like a shudder down my spine. I inhaled deeply, my hand instinctively reaching for my husband’s. We began to pray a Divine Mercy Chaplet aloud together.

Hundreds of thoughts seemed to come simultaneously. I thought of my baby, Joseph, napping peacefully hundreds of thousands of miles away from us. I thought of the last kiss I had planted on his forehead the night before we left for our long awaited vacation. I thought of the years of his life I wouldn’t be present for, if I truly were to die that day. I thought of all my friends and loved ones. I wondered if death would hurt.

And then, I thought of Jesus.

I thought of Him as He is portrayed in the Divine Mercy Image, hand outstretched, mercy and life pouring out from His most sacred Heart.

As my lips formed over and over again around the prayer “Jesus I trust in you”, I realized that THIS is the moment I had lived my entire life for. The moment when I would greet that loving gaze, face to face….that all the moments preceding this one were steps to get to here. To death. To LIFE.

And for that single moment, my priorities aligned perfectly. Because suddenly, getting that perfect, poetic picture of myself walking on the beach didn’t matter. All of the responsibilities and distractions awaiting me back in ‘every day’ life didn’t matter. How I looked, or sounded like, what others thought of me, what I ate, my joys and sufferings- in that moment, NONE of it mattered as much as Jesus and none of it could distract from the intense, immediate, dawning reality that I NEED Him…and that to trust in Him is the most important thing I could ever do, in my life- and especially, in my death.

Shortly thereafter, the missile threat was dispelled as a mistake.

I watched as around me, relief settled onto a crowd of people who, moments before, had been crying, praying, clinging to one another. People began to laugh and chatter and joke. I realized in that moment how quick we are to cast our mortality to the side in a clever punch line…and how little we really consider the POINT of all this living that we’re doing.

So today, sisters, as we enter into the desert in the shadow of our Lord, I pray that He opens our eyes anew to our own littleness, that our need for Him is realized anew- that the hunger in our stomachs never surpasses the hunger in our hearts for the Heavenly homeland to which we journey and that the HOPE of each finite moment we are given in this life rests grounded in the infinite Eternity for which we were created.

Love+Blessings,

Faith

I booked a flight to Spain.

Just like that, the Camino de Santiago is no longer a name on my Bucket List, it’s an event on my summer calendar, written in black felt ink!! The Way of St. James has already begun as I leap out into the great unknown and dare to walk toward an adventure that has been calling my name for years.

“So you just decided one day that you were going to walk The Way?” they ask, usually with a chuckle.

Yep. I just decided it was time to go. Time to stop talking about my dreams and start doing them. Time to live beyond the daily surviving and keep on thriving.

The Camino has been on my Bucket List for many years now. I can’t quite remember if I first heard about it from a friend or Martin Sheen. 🙂 But the idea of walking through Spain on the same path taken by pilgrims since the Middle Ages (prayerfully passing through the same homeland ruled by some of my favorite Spanish kings and queens!) never left my adventurous heart. In fact, my desire to go has only increased with time and research. (Oh, and they have WINE FOUNTAINS. There’s that, too…)

The Bucket List itself began as more of a jar – a collection of hopes, dreams, challenges, and goals I began to set for myself as a teenager, all directed toward following God’s will in my adult life. It was helpful to have something to go “back” to when the questions of “where am I going?” and “who am I?” surfaced throughout my late teens and early twenties. It helped me to dig back into my heart when I wasn’t sure what to do next. It also gave me hope for a future of happy moments to come and adventures still yet to be discovered.

Friends might remember the day I was challenged to write down 100 goals for my future.  A rather lengthy list of practical and not-so-practical goals ensued, with hopes for my spiritual life, professional life, family life, etc. The Bucket List was filling up, and fast! (Authoring a blog may or may not have been on that list. . . I’ll let you decide. :))

The Camino de Santiago sure was on that list – somewhere between “attend Financial Peace University” and “see the Swiss Alps.”

Over the years, I’ve limited this dream with my own expectations. “I can’t go until I have time to do the whole thing,” I would tell myself. “I’ll go sometime in the future when I’m in-between jobs” or “I’ll go someday with my future husband.”  The idea of going on the Camino was always in the distant future.

And then, the reality of time hit me like a ton of bricks. Time truly is fleeting and does not contain the events we expect them to contain. Trying to match our dreams to our own expectations for the future are unrealistic and, in the end, adventures can often be missed for lack of the bigger things (health, finances,, etc.). As a friend of mine wisely advised, “Do things like this while you have the health and time.” 

So I looked to the Bucket List and decided it was time to take it off the shelf. To my surprise, I was able to cross off a few items – dreams I had experienced just by living my life. I also added a few new goals while I was at it.

Friends, I don’t know about you, but I do NOT want to live a life of looking at, building, and creating my Bucket List. I want to take that bucket off the shelf and dive into it’s contents! I want to touch, smell, and taste them, watching the guidebooks come to life. I want to make the mistakes, learn the lessons, pick myself up and try again.

And then, I want to go out and USE the bucket to learn more about God and the world He created around (and in) me. I’ll use it as a raft, a receptacle, a reservoir – in whatever way He permits me to nurture the experiences that make the life I’m living to be just that: alive.

I don’t want to just survive and strive to succeed each day in life, I want to live them out with joy and gratitude – everything from walking the Camino to learning how to play basketball.

Let’s not put off to tomorrow what we can do today. If you have yet to create a bucket list, I encourage you to do so, pronto! It’s never too late. If you have one, take it off the shelf and look inside. Have you already explored life through living? What adventure or goal do you want to take out for the todays that God is giving you to live? Let’s go out there and return our bucket to God with lessons learned, love grown, and joys multiplied!

Buen Camino!

*Some of you have asked that I document my Camino experience. Plans of posts, journaling, and even vloging are under consideration. 😉  In some ways, I think we could call this the first step of my Camino? Will you join me on the journey?*

When I was in San Diego in early December, I met the janitor of the hotel one morning in the elevator. After exchanging pleasantries he said, “You should really come back San Diego sometime when it isn’t so cold. You will enjoy yourself even more!” I stopped and stared at him for what felt like ten minutes straight.

It was 75 degrees outside and I was definitely not “fitting in” to the fashion with my sandals and lightweight cardigan. (There is nothing stranger than seeing dozens of women wearing tall riding boots as they stroll near the ocean on a 75 degree day.) This janitor was visibly shivering! It was pretty clear in that moment that the Californian’s definition of cold is my definition of a delightful summer day. It’s all about perspective.

No matter how close or far away you may live to the North Pole, I think most humans are feeling the same thing this time of year: Cabin Fever. Whether you’re actually living in a cabin in Alaska (stay strong!) or continuously covering your plants in the south for fear of a dreaded frost, you are ready for warmer, longer days.

In all honesty, the cold is likely doing more than hurt your face and hands. Chances are, the season is affecting your mood, too. Any negative emotions you might be feeling right now may not be quite as negative as you think. You need sun, light, and warmth in your life again to make those tracks in snow seem less deep than they really are!

Because let’s face it: seasonal depression is real.

We can’t make the sun stay out longer, but we can help ourselves overcome and treat this indoor-induced ailment without the use of a tanning lamp. Here’s how:

1.  Go Outside – Even if it takes longer to suit up like an Eskimo than it will for you to stand the cold, you do yourself a tremendous amount of good with the effort to breath in a bit of nature. Making the effort will also boost your morale. Bundle up and go for a winter walk… take the kids to an ice rink… park your car at furthest the end of the parking lot… whatever it takes to spend time outside  – get out there! Bonus points to outdoor air is the use of exercise to your winter routine. It is easy to forget the feeling of triumph after a long run on a treadmill or the endorphin-high of a 30 minute spin session.

2. Get Crafty – If your winter brain is anything like mine, it feels as though it’s always reading a book or taking a snooze by a roaring fire. Wake it up a bit and get those creative juices flowing! That might encourage you to take scrapbook materials out of storage, practice sewing, or learn how to upholster a chair. Better yet, take a class at a nearby art center and meet new people while you’re at it! You could try music, baking, or cooking in the kitchen. Last month, I had a “pasta day” in which I spend the entire day learning how to make pasta and stuffed ravioli. It was tiring (and not completely successful) but it was invigorating!

Part 2 to getting crafty is: Bless Others. Share the rewards of your labor with your neighbor, whether it be your immediate family, co-workers, or the officers at a police station down the street. Take time to look outside of your winter blues to bless someone else.

3. Eat, Drink and Be Merry – If you are looking for permission to eat ice cream every night, this is not it. 🙂 Eating and drinking well have a tremendous impact on our mood. Eat leafy green veggies, packed with vitamins and make sure you are drinking enough water and staying hydrated. (That means saying no to the coffee pot or snack bar in the afternoon.) The cold season dries out of skin to the extreme, so make sure to feed it what it needs to thrive. Of course, you should enjoy the season’s treats while you’re fighting its fever. A cup of hot mulled wine is a must for a cold winter night!

4. Lots and Lots of Lights – I always lament the loss of light on December 26th. It seems that our world, immediately after Christmas, sees no need to decorate the dark streets, homes, and alleys with colorful lights. Let’s change this trend, people! One way in which I keep sane during the months of darkness is to keep my Christmas lights up – inside! I hang a strand of white lights above my fireplace, porch, or windows. Candles are also a great addition to the winter months and (sometimes) add a welcome note of fragrance to the home.

5. Life – Surround yourself with good people, friends, and family who lift you up and make you laugh. Plan a game night with your friends, visit your elderly friend in a nursing home, hold someone’s baby for awhile – it’s all quite therapeutic to the seasonal disfunction.  Decorate your home with signs of life by purchasing a few additional indoor plants or keeping a fresh bouquet of flowers on your kitchen table. One of my favorite (and affordable) life-givers to home decor is a bowl of fresh lemons and/or apples for the kitchen counter.

Putting the extras aside: take care of yourself. The most vital life in your world right now is your own. Make sure you’re taking care of it and respecting it’s need for rest, rejuvenation, and prayer.

There you have it! Five (and a half) ways we can all brave the cold and dark weeks ahead. You’ll be happier, your family will be happier, and apparently your freezer, too, will be better off for it:

Back in 2007, when first introduced to the internet world of bloggers, I found the site of a strong, faithful woman and mother of two – Mary Lenaburg. Though the sharing of her heart and home in writing, I met her beautiful daughter Courtney and followed and prayed along with her journey to Heaven. From her life and the daily step of faith into darkness, Mary Lenaburg’s theme of “Being Brave in the Scared” developed, challenging me and others to live joy in the midst of fear.

Ten years later and I’m still an avid reader and unabashed lurker. Mary Lenaburg challenged us recently to consider what being brave in the scared looks like to each of us. So I got to thinking…

Being brave in the scared, to me, means transforming the Scared to to the Sacred. By restructuring the first three letters of a fearful word, I am convinced we can find the doors to eternity.

For me, the Sacred was found in the Blessed Sacrament. There, Our Lord waits for us, inviting us to present our wounded hearts to Him. It was in the darkest, scariest period in my life that this secret was revealed to me. Like a magnet, I was drawn to the chapel. In most cases, there were no words – just a staring where “heart speaks to heart.” It was in Adoration that I found strength with which to rebuild my life in time of desolation. He was the answer to Everything. Since then, I long for those moments – whether they be 10 minutes or an hour – when I can go to him and learn how to be Brave. Every day I walk into that chapel and every day, I leave with greater peace than when I first came. In that time before Him truly present, I have the chance to rest my head on His heart – recharging, redeeming, and reviving my own.

There, we find warmth… comfort… we listen to the beating, the breathing, and we know thatwe are beloved.

And I am told, this is just the icing on the cake – there’s more!

Before Christ in the Blessed Sacrament we find the champion over fear itself – the Man God who suffered as our Savior. He taught us how to accept the cross and carry it bravely. And He invited us to join Him on the journey – to be brave.

And this visit usually unlocks another secret to Being Brave in the Scared…

Sometimes, when I am SURE that I am alone in the Adoration chapel- I sing!

There must be a scientific connection to the act of singing and the calming of one’s fears! It worked for the three men in the fiery furnace, right? “They walked around in the midst of the flames, singing hymns to God and blessing the Lord.”

Singing has a way of soothing one’s pain and multiplying one’s joy. It was singing that welcomed Our Lord as a newborn baby in Bethlehem. Zachary sang when his tongue was freed from its banishment. And Mary sang a canticle of praise when her heart overflowed with joy.  Our voice raised in song seals the sacred and scatters the scared. 

Say that three times fast! 😉

What does Being Brave in the Scared mean to you, dear friend?

~~~~~~~~~

In Adoration, I have placed my wounded heart in His and watched it grow more and more in strength each day.

In Adoration, I have placed my joyful heart on His and watched the light return to its source.

In Adoration, I have placed my tender heart with shaking hands on His and watch it become brave, even in the scared.

~~~~~~~~~

The Wise Men.

In the greatest role reversal of all time, the world witnessed the humility of majesty at a manger – and the mystery of majesty in the manger.

Today, on the feast of the Epiphany, we talk hear a lot about how the Wise Men arrived and worshiped God, offering gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. But what we don’t hear often enough about, I think, is how they arrived. The Three Kings were not using a map.  And an angel did not appear to them in a dream to explain the wonders to come. Finding Christ by way of a star was not an accident; it was a mission.

The Three Kings were candidates for finding Christ just like we are in every moment of every day. Because, sisters – we each have our own star to follow! And while it may not be the actual star that appeared over Bethlehem, the light of Christ in our life is certainly a reflection of that star. So let’s take a moment to consider the Wise Men and how they arrived:

They had to look before they could find.

I remember laying in a field of tall grass one summer evening as a child, stargazing with friends on a weekend campout. The nerds in the group spent their time consulting constellation charts and connecting Leo and the Big Dipper in the galaxy above, like a giant connect the dot game. The impatient among us (ahem) became easily distracted by conversation, bugs, and bustle of the campfire nearby.

And then there was John Paul – the boy who saw every shooting star.

“How is it that you always see the shooting star?,” I remember asking, rather incredulously when he announced, “there’s another one” as calmly as if he saw another lightening bug. I suspected that he was perhaps exaggerating the tale of one or two.

“You just have to keep looking at the sky,” he said from his post, not even glancing up to see who asked the question. He lay there, still and serene, patiently waiting for the universe to start dancing before him. The sky always delivered.

Thank goodness the Wise Men kept a watchful gaze for their chance to see the Savior! How often are we too busy to look for the star in our lives? We allow the busyness or discouragement of waiting lessen our fervor to keep looking.  The Three Kings found the Christ because they were in the disposition to see the star. Let’s imitate their readiness in our lives! Let’s spend time with Our Lord in the Tabernacle, frequent the Sacraments, and encounter Christ in our daily tasks.

They dropped everything.

There was no possible way for the Wise Men to know that the great light would remain in the sky until they found the cause of it’s presence. Time spent researching, planning, and processing would be in vain. The Three Kings consulted prudently and sprung into action, wasting no time to pursue the wonder before them. 

Trumping the proverbial mic drop, this “life drop” is repeated in Scripture, over and over again. The Apostles dropped their nets in the water, money on the table, and fish in the sea at the simple invitation of a stranger to, “come and follow me.” The man healed from leprosy rushed into the streets to proclaim the goodness of the Lord. Magdalene left her sinful life to seek a life of redemption in a newfound mercy.

And then – Christ Himself invited mankind to do the radical: to “pick up your cross and follow me.” In order to pick up that cross, we have to drop whatever we are holding on to.

What are you holding on to right now? To some, it may be fear in discernment of a religious vocation, a relationship, or move to a different career path. Another might be holding on to memories and hurts of the past. Or maybe there’s a stubborn streak of pride that keeps your heart locked on what is known and “safe”.

Dear Sisters, we can practice this active will to pursue Christ in our lives, too, just like the Wise Men. Our “star” is God’s invitation to drop what we are doing to seek Him. And that light from that star will not stop shining, even while we dawdle. Do not be afraid to drop what you are holding on to – take a leap out into darkness – to follow your star.

And finally – they sought to bring others with them (they talked about it)!

The discovery of the star was not one these Three Kings could put behind them or pretend didn’t exist. Far from the light hidden under a bushel, this one was tough to conceal. Any one of these Three Kings could have kept the journey to Jesus to himself. But not one of them did. In fact, they sought counsel with each other, forming alliances of companionship, safety, and excitement. 

Even Herod was in on the invite! Perhaps one of the greatest gifts of the Three Kings was their gift of speech. Not only did they speak our to challenge their others to find Christ, they were responsible for evangelization on their way home and to their people upon return. They spread the news that the wait for the Messiah was over. Thanks to the Kings, the gift of hope remained alive.

Oh that we could be half as enthusiastic as the Three Kings were in seeking Christ when going about our day to day lives! Do you invite others to join you on your journey to Christ? In challenging ourselves, we should also challenge our neighbor to join us on the journey. And as St. Francis of Assisi once said, “preach the Gospel always – if necessary, use words.” Let your joy and excitement show itself in how you live, the smile on your face, and the peace with which you accept tribulations.

We were not meant to walk through this life alone; we were meant for community. (When we discover something good, we want to share it, right?) We need to surround ourselves with good people for the journey, not caring about rejection (Herod) or persecution. And when we come to the end of our star and find Christ, we should waste no time in sharing the Good News with the world.

Our star is in the sky, sisters. Let us look, drop everything, and bring others along with us on the journey to the light – Christ, the Infant King.

Yours, Mary

In the quiet, cold night, a single star shone brilliantly over the town of Bethlehem announcing the Light of the World. “In him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shineth in darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.” John 1:4-5

Note: There’s more to the story of my shooting-star seeking friend. He has since been called home and no doubt, enjoys the view of ALL the stars. Please pray for the repose of his soul. 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

That’s right! It’s Mary and Faith together, in person and on paper with a Her Soul message to you, dear sisters, as we celebrate tidings of great joy!!

This evening, we took a long breath and pause amidst the swirl of red and green to direct our hearts toward the manger and our friendship. Together, we prayed, ate, laughed a lot, and argued about who would pay for the milkshakes. And after we caught up on each others lives and hearts – we talked about YOU.

Don’t worry, it was all good. 😉 In fact, we talked about you in wonder. We talked about the analytics map and how readers visit our site every day, the “likes” and “shares” we receive through social media, and the delightful comments left by Tom and others. We even talked about our committed readers who subscribe to our posts by clicking the “Follow” button, located on the sidebar. (Yes, shameless plug, right here.) —>

And then, as the waitress approached our table for the fourth time to encourage us to at least look at our menu, we discussed the incredible coincidence Mary had of meeting some of our lurking readers at a recent Christmas party; women who share “Her Heart” and the various ways we live life for the same cause. It was at that moment when it really hit home: how absolutely lovely and real are the faces and hearts behind these likes, shares, and comments!!

Thank you for joining us on the journey and sharing your time with us. We believe that this life isn’t meant to be lived, loved, and fought for alone and we are so grateful for your willingness to join us for the ride. Each and every one of you returns to this space because YOU share Her Heart and seek His story in your busy, hectic lives.

[And in case you’re wondering, this evening’s quiet time together was made possible by Paul, who also values our friendship and the chance for mommy to have some quiet time. Because YES – friendships can flourish beyond the “I do” when one friend is married and the other is single. We know that this can be a struggle or fear for some of you and plan to publish a series on the topic in January. If you have questions from the single or married perspective of the “friends after marriage” topic, please send them to us and we’ll be sure to include an answer in an upcoming post.

This evening we paused long and hard together with Our Lord at the parish adoration chapel, praying for each others intentions and looking ahead at a new year. Perhaps you are doing the same – wondering if the new year will bring joy or sorrow, gain or loss, easy rides or hard knocks? Whatever your prayer may be, know that you are not praying alone. And whatever the new year brings, it will be exactly that which will make you a better, stronger, healthier YOU!

What is your word for 2018? A word for the new year is like a seed planted for the next chapter of life; a word that comes from the year past and promises to unfold in it’s own way as the new one commences. We would like to challenge each of you to ponder and decide on one word you will take with you from 2017 into the new year. Here we go!

Mary’s Word for 2018: Enough

Faith’s Word for 2018: Trust

As what I can only consider a sister of the word and theme which Mary has chosen (“enough”), “trust” is a word which I believe God has been whispering lovingly to my heart even long before my entrance into this crazy-beautiful vocation of marriage and motherhood.  I was born out of my parents’ trust in God, that He would fulfill their desire for a child in HIS timing, according to HIS plan; thus they named me “faith”, a synonym, I believe, if not the very definition of trusting in God…in His Providence, in His close proximity to our hearts and our crosses even when we cannot feel His prescence, in His goodness and His mercy.

I believe that my hope and challenge for the coming year can be summed up in the call to TRUST God, foremostly to trust that He is who He says He is and to trust who He has revealed me to be in relation to Him.

He is my father; I am his daughter.

If I believe that simple truth deep in my bones- if I believe it to my core, everything in my life changes. It all starts to make sense.

Where trust abounds, fear ceases to control and bind.

So here’s to a year of freedom from worry, a year resonating with the peace that comes not from this world, but from trusting Jesus deeply and wholly.

Here’s to a year of TRUST, and (no pun intended 😉 , faith in action.