marriage

Dear Single Sister: Valentine’s Day is Yours

/ marycserafino / 1 Comment

DearSingleSisterI hear the same commercials you’re hearing about the restaurants, flowers, and romantic opportunities around the corner for everyone else. I watch you deliver boxes with sugary-hearts like a champ to your nieces and nephews, best-friend’s kids, and co-workers – bravely attempting to celebrate what you have instead of what you don’t have. (Go get em, girl!) And I see you return to the box of memories, remembering February 14th’s of the past, when you thought your happily-ever-after might be around the corner.

This letter is not just for you – it’s for us. I am a 30-something single, so I’m with you, sister, and hear you loud and clear!

What if I told you that I believe St. Valentine’s Day is a day for us to celebrate our singleness. (And this is not where I dive into the, “be glad you’re not dating the wrong one” talk.)  Let me explain:

If you are seeking God’s will and are single, its because He is inviting you to love with the greatest capacity of your heart. You are right now and for whatever reason – in this moment – called to singleness, which means you are being called to love Him by giving Him everything, including all the fear, loneliness, and longings of your heart. Because of this, you have been given an enormous capacity to love.

That’s right –  you are not too old or too young, too large or too small, too successful or too plain. You are not defined by your current relationships status, either. You are just right. In fact, you are a keeper. 🙂

The story often ends here in internet forums and single women walk away dolefully mumbling, “I have God, I don’t need anything else…” wondering when the words will start becoming a reality. This is where I would like to take the story one step further:

brigitte-tohm-190840.jpgThe very best Valentine I received came from my 8-year-old brother, many years ago. It was sitting on my bed when I came home that night: a stuffed horse with a felt saddle bag that said, “Be Mine.” It wasn’t the gift itself or the cuteness of the giver that made it the best Valentine ever – it was the exclusiveness and foreverness of the thought behind it. As siblings, it’s understood between us that we’re in this for life together, no matter what. But my baby brother went out of his way to say that I was someone he chose to love. There were no words necessary to accompany the gift. His action said it all: “I know you, I see you, and I hear you. We’re in this life together. And I think you’re pretty special.”

If you haven’t caught the secret, here it is: St. Valentine’s Day is so much more than the giving and receiving. It’s about choosing to love and being pursued by Love Himself.

[To be fair, we are actually celebrating the feastday of a martyr who loved to the point of death, which puts everything into perspective!]

To be loved means to be known, seen, and heard. Well, guess what? You are known, seen, and heard by the King of Love – one who pursues you like no earthly man can. And because you are allowing yourself to be exclusively pursued by Him, you are in the place to receive love to a limitless capacity! His is a love that lunges toward you with life, hope, forgiveness, fidelity, healing, and wholeness.

If we’re going to celebrate St. Valentines Day as a day of love, then I’m going to be so bold as to say this is YOUR day, sisters! Love is so much more than a romantic night, a vase of flowers, and a man to whisper pleasant things in your ear.  St. Augustine tells us that, “To fall in love with God is the greatest romance…”

Don’t let your temporary singleness hinder you from plunging into an ocean of love! Who cares what the world says – Valentine’s Day is yours. Reclaim it. Celebrate it with all the force of your heart. 

And then – take it into every single day thereafter. When you feel like you’re falling short, missing the mark, or struggling with loneliness, know without a doubt that you are being pursued. You are known, seen, and heard in every moment of every day. You have a chance to choose Him, again and again.

There will likely be Valentine’s Days in your future that you will share with another. When that day comes, the restaurant, roses, and chocolates will still be inconsequential. What will matter is this: that choice you make to love that person will ultimately be a reflection of God’s pursuit of you and your choice to love Him first. You will still be celebrating your sacred singleness in that moment with the sure knowledge that you were and always will be known, seen, and heard.

*Today, I pray especially for you and your heart – that love will be multiplied in you beyond your wildest expectations and dreams. Happy Valentine’s Day! 

5 Reasons Why St. Joseph is Your Man

/ marycserafino / 2 Comments

StjosephYes, I know what you’re thinking: “St. Joseph is for everyone.” And he is. There’s a reason why the Church gave him the title of Patron of the Universal Church. He’s not just for carpenters and foster parents… or people who lose things or have bad dreams. Not only are his special titles more numerous than we could imagine, the very life of St. Joseph is far, far greater, deeper, and more exciting than history books divulge.

St. Joseph is my man. He’s answered big requests in ways beyond expectation. In his hands I have placed the conversion of family members, the finding of spouses for friends, countless job searches, the protection of purity, and most especially, the journey of the heart in finding my future spouse.  He answers me each day in the latter request – protecting my heart, guarding it, and helping it to grow along the way.

Yes, as the master builder he proved himself to be on this earth, St. Joseph has worked to obtain countless gifts that I’ve asked from Heaven. 

And he’s not just my man… he’s YOUR man, too. And here are the top 5 reasons why:

He’s a father.

Every daughter wants to know that she’s got a dad who will back her up, love her, and give her something to look up to. St. Joseph does just that! As the foster-father of Christ made-man, he filled the earthly role of father like no other human being on this earth. He was chosen to be a witness, protection, and guide to the mystery of the Incarnation and lived it’s fruits every day of his life. Like any father, he loves anyone and everyone his Son loves – and that includes you. He knows the desire of your heart and cares for every prayer you pray, tear you shed, and danger you traverse. St. Joseph has your back.

He’s a spouse.

It’s not easy to be married to perfection. (Honestly – it’s become the brunt of almost every marriage joke out there!) But the truth is, St. Joseph is the only one who truly knew human perfection. Everyone in his home was perfect – except for himself. And yet, God chose St. Joseph as the spouse for His beloved. Only the finest man must be reserved for Mary! His holiness, purity, patience, and love is literally unmatched by any living man. So he’s the perfect support to the womanly heart where her husband is concerned – whether in loving and understanding her husband better or in seeking, discerning, and waiting for her husband-to-be. 😉 I don’t know about other gals out there, but I want St. Joseph to not only have a say in the choice of my future spouse, but to help me honor, cherish, serve, and love the one given to me when the time comes!

He’s a builder.

It’s no coincidence that a carpenter was chosen to be part of the foundation of the Universal Church. While we know his projects on earth required physical endurance, planning, and precision, we can only imagine that St. Joseph’s projects from Heaven are trillions of times more important than the tables and chairs he built on earth. He handcrafts such gifts, handed from the Throne of God, and builds great things in our souls with the tools of virtues. You’ve heard the saying, “When God closes a door, he opens a window,” right? Well, the next time you feel like you’ve exhausted all the doors and windows in any area of your life, pray to St. Joseph that he BUILD you one.

He’s an expert at patience.

In what we know as the happiest of all deaths, the good heart of St. Joseph stopped beating with Mary and Jesus by his side. But unlike other deaths to come, St. Joseph’s was not greeted by a risen Lord and an open Heaven – the gates of which remained closed until Sacrifice yet to come. St. Joseph waited in a limbo of which length we’ll never know. He waited after knowing what it was like to live with pure joy itself, look upon the face of God each day, and hear the echo of angels’s voices from the stable in Bethlehem. Can you imagine the anguish of that wait, having had a taste of heaven on earth? With this kind of patience in his past, this good saint will relate and respond to the various areas of “limbo” in our lives as women with great generosity. Praying for a child? Looking for a house? Waiting for things to get better? St. Joseph is the man behind the wait.

St. JosephPatronChurch.jpgHe’s the Protector of Purity

If purity had a champion, St. Joseph would win the title. Not only was his chaste union with Mary a testimony to his purpose in her life, so was the way in which he lived out that purity in his own. St. John Bosco tells us that purity is “the queen of all virtues.” St. Joseph wasted no effort in protecting Mary’s purity. In noticing her pregnancy, St. Joseph did not say a word. He held it close to his heart and, as Scripture tells us, was not willing to expose her. What some men would have a lot to say about the appearance of infidelity in their spouse, St. Joseph said nothing. Let’s pray for men who rise up to champion the queen of virtues, thereby also championing the cause of good, holy Catholic womanhood.

Go, then to Joseph, and do all that he shall say to you;
Go to Joseph, and obey him as Jesus and Mary obeyed him;
Go to Joseph, and speak to him as they spoke to him;
Go to Joseph, and consult him as they consulted him;
Go to Joseph, and honour him as they honoured him;

Go to Joseph, and be grateful to him as they were grateful to him;
Go to Joseph, and love him, as they love him still.

– St. Alphonsus Liguori