That word. You see it and you groan, if not externally, most definitely with an inward pang of sharp pain. As you read the word in this blog title, you likely imagined an hour-glass timer with sand twirling around your internet browser as if to convince you into thinking that it’s actually working magic and not taunting you, instead. Or maybe your dreaded icon goes around and around so many times you begin to wonder about the “righty-tighty” theory.

Whoever came up with the term “buffering” must have been having a bad day, when you think about it. It sounds impossible and huge, not to mention terribly ugly. We see “buffering” and we think, “Gosh, I’m going to be here all day.”

Interesting enough, the computing definition is, quite literally, “to store (data) in a buffer while it is being processed or transferred.”

It’s actually a way of saying, “Hang in there, we’ve got this. Just give us time to process your request.”

If this isn’t like my life, I don’t know what is!

I work and pray and focus on the good things and goals I’ve set out for myself. I strive to love more fully, live more intentionally, and to choose joy in every situation. And when I don’t do all of the above, I get discouraged.

Sound familiar?

And I pray! Novenas, rosaries, holy hours – you name it! In the past, I prayed for specific things with all my might, thinking about the “rose” at the end, the “sign” to show me the decision I should make, or the actual gift, grace, or miracle I’m begging God to grant.

But not anymore. Because I realized that in waiting, hoping, and focusing on the end goal, I forgot that the process in getting there is just as important – actually contributes to the end I’m so eager to achieve. 

Sometimes the process includes falling. Crying. Staring blankly at the Monstrance in Adoration. Praying with lips and searching for the connection to the heart. Heaving through heavy doubts and worries. Trying over and over again to trust in a living, faithful God.

And frankly, sometimes this includes the simple resolution to try again tomorrow as I lay my head upon the pillow.

Guess what? A priest friend recently reminded me: God is more interested in the process than we are. He sees our end-of-the-road desire and smiles at our zeal. He sees us struggling to get to the end and reaches out His hand, instead, to take the process from us! He wants us to seek Him, lay our heads on His shoulder, give our Hearts to His care, let Him in on the process. He doesn’t have a magic wand. He doesn’t say, “Bippity-boppity-boo.”

No! He cries with you, stares back at you, treasures your prayers, and caresses your worries. He is a living, true, and faithful God that is in love with YOU – and your process!

And, as I continue to learn with every day behind me – the process actually carves out the path to the end goal. Like a treasure map’s dotted line, extending all over the universe to the “x” marking the spot – the end goal can’t be found without the process.

So the next time you see the hourglass appear in your life with a seemingly endless supply of sand, be grateful for the process. Think of it as God saying, “Hang in there, I’ve got this. Share it with me. Let me process your request in my own Perfect Time. I promise – it will be even better than what you think it should be.”