There is a little village nestled in the countryside of Herzegovina and Bosnia known for a beautiful tradition called ‘the wedding vows of the crucifix’. For centuries, this town has maintained the practice of centering their marriages around the Holy Cross, recognizing that there is an indissoluble relationship between that union ‘which produces human life’ and the ‘sacrifice which produces divine life’. As a result, they are likely the only city in the world that can claim a divorce rate of 0 among their 13,000 inhabitants.

Upon learning of this tradition, my husband and I were quick to find a way to incorporate it into our wedding mass. I can still recall the feeling of my fingers resting upon the wood of our Celtic Crucifix, interlocked with the fingers of my husband as we promised to love and honor one another, ALL the days of our lives. The priest then reminded us, in front of all of our loved ones (and in the words of the tradition itself) “you have found your cross; it is a cross to be loved, to be carried, not to be thrown away but to be cherished.”

It is a funny, but perhaps, quite fitting image to think of your spouse as your cross, when considered in light of the Cross of Christ. Marriage, or any vocation, isn’t easy. It’s not meant to be a light and airy experience…its meant to be lived out in the trenches of life- in the hard moments, the ones burdened with sickness, marred by hurt; the commitment is for the good times, yes, but even more for the difficult ones.

In thinking of our vocation as a cross, we can learn directly from our savior, Christ, Himself, in how to bear it. We can see from His example of humility how to embrace our cross, to take it up in our arms and cling to it- and more, cling to He who made the cross the very hallmark of  our salvation.

Often we may approach our crosses as Simon of Cyrene, hesitant, or even resistant to bear and to live what is asked of us (what we are called to!). Likely though, just as Simon’s heart was transformed from one of loathing for the cross to love of it—we, too will find that walking  the way of the cross brings us so close to our Jesus that embracing it is no longer such a terrible feat, but a life-giving and gaining one

That Celtic Crucifix present at the exchange of our wedding vows now hangs proudly above the kitchen doorway in our little home—and each day it serves as a reminder to our marriage, to our family, to me—a reminder that we are loved so much by our God that He would become human, come wade through the muck of life and experience every pain we’ve ever felt just to restore us… a reminder that suffering need not be feared, but embraced as an opportunity to love…a reminder that in the end, love always triumphs .

We adore you Oh Christ and we Praise you, because by your Holy Cross, you have redeemed the world.