Today I must share with you the story of a little lie that grew and grew until it became a giant force in the life of my blog posts here on HerSoulProclaims. That lie looks something like perfectionism…

I cannot even being to tell you how many blog posts have been started – how many inspirations, stories, and discoveries I’ve wanted to share with you dear sisters, over this entire season of Lent.

Those stories are currently sitting in a document on my desktop. They may be unfinished and rough in their composition, but the sentiment is not. In fact, these stories combined made this Lent one of the best ever! With St. Joseph’s gift of surrender, a actual walk in the desert to relate to, and a foretaste of fearlessness to ponder – this Lent has been FULL and beautiful.

While time is often lacking in sharing these stories, the fact that I have given in to the the little lie of perfectionism is the biggest influence to my silence on this blog. The lie tells me that I have to formulate my ideas and thoughts perfectly before I can actually post about them; that I have to not just be inspired by something, but understand and emulate it before daring to share about it.

But that’s not what we’re all about here, is it? The whole purpose of this space in the blogosphere is to share in the journey of living out Her Soul, right? Our goal is to proclaim His presence, even when we’ve yet to understand it’s full meaning to our lives and salvation.

I don’t know about you, but blogging isn’t the only area of my life that perfectionism tries to control… So today, in an effort to live in the present moment of imperfection, I am exposing the lie and sharing with you a few things that shine out beyond the lie, in all their imperfections:

• LENTEN JOY: Yes, you read that right. The theme of Joy in this season of Lent has been rather radical in it’s arrival, but beautifully consistent. If what St. Pope John Paul II said is true, that “We are an Easter people and Alleluia is our song” than our walk in the Passion of Christ is different than that of the Apostles. Because we walk with Christ and His cross while having foretaste of the Resurrection. We get to see the suffering, accept our own crosses, and know without a doubt that it they are the “pain before the gain.” This is a privilege that only Mary shared in during the passion of Her Son. We have been given a great gift to see the joy with the cross. And I don’t know about you, but I think Our Lord, in giving us this vantage place, invites us to live like it… with joy, even in the midst of suffering.
• AN HOUR OF ADORATION EVERY DAY – has been my lifeline these past six weeks. It seemed almost impossible to do at first.. where am I going to come up with all this extra time? I can’t even find time to blog these days! But the time was there (I found it, usually wasted) and it became the best part of my day. Spending an hour of Adoration with Jesus is having the chance to share a heart-to-heart with the One who Loves me the Most. There, I can share my worries, fears, thankfulness, frustration, etc. There, I get to gaze at Him and guess what? He gazes right back at me!! Very few of these hours actually result in the “ah ha!” moments of the spiritual life. But the grounding time of being in His presence is the best part of my day.
• CAMINO PREP: While adventures await in all their excitement and glory – life happens. For me, this looks like an injured knee, passport dilemmas, and the inability to train as much as I would like to at the moment. But the Camino waits… and my companions have been more than supportive in their encouragement. One declared our journey to be a “no woman left behind” adventure. We’re in this together – all for one and one for all! In a recent Camino prep discussion, someone suggested that we all share our greatest “Camino fear” in order to get it out there and expose it for what it is. Although I had a bushel of fears to share, I exposed my #1: That I will get injured and have to taxi my way on The Way. And then it hit me: so what? I know better than to fear my greatest fear at this point in life! So WHAT if my greatest fear becomes a reality! The same God and grace that have seen me through the greatest fears of my life will also see me through the greatest fears of the Camino. This is what it means to be a Christian – to be fearless, even when the worst case scenario confronts us head-on. So while I’m still not counting on it, if I do injure myself on the Camino… if I do get bedbugs in an albergue, if I do lose my passport and all my money to a sneaky thief – SO WHAT!

This is life in the “now” – with all of it’s imperfections. For those readers who stuck with me as I discovered the lie and return to this space – thank you. Prayers for a blessed Holy Week and Triduum ahead!